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Self Destructive Tendencies

     Many people have self-destructive tendencies. They range from eating ice cream when they are upset to starting an argument with the neighbor because the boss never gave them a raise. Have you ever seen a successful person turn to drugs and alcohol because they can't handle the success? This is clearly self-destructive.

     In love and romance the one that comes up often is "Reject them before they have a chance to reject you." This comes from being scared of rejection. They don't want to be rejected, so they reject first.

     Have you ever done this or known someone who has? You need to watch out for it as it may come your way and you will find yourself being rejected or worse, rejecting the person you really care about. This happens before a wedding when one or both get cold feet, so to speak. If you really care about the person, then you need to show them that you can't be rejected. This is a tough one though, as they might get very self-destructive. They might have such a fear of being rejected that the fear will totally control them. If you strongly feel this is what they are doing, then you need to give them a lot of space. Just be there in the background and let them find their own path.

     To help prevent your own self-destructive tendencies, try to make a list of them and then try and combat them.

     If everything is going good in a relationship and then you find yourself being rejected, this could be what is happening. The person is self-destructing the relationship.

     There is also another one where a person does not feel worthy of being loved and therefore will do things to cause you to not love them like flirting with other people in your presence just to get your goat. This can come from a childhood where they felt they weren't loved by one of their parents or they could never do anything right for this parent and therefore felt unloved and unworthy of love. So now someone comes along and shows them they love them and they just can't believe it because they don't feel anyone could love them. They don't feel worthy of it. They have Low Self Esteem. You need to build their self esteem.

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